Is Settling for “Fine” Dimming Your Shine?

As the weather cools down and the holidays roll in, our calendars tend to fill up with shopping missions and family meet-ups! That usually means that our stress levels follow the same path of escalation.

If you already feel the weight of upcoming Thanksgiving tasks and an umbrella of added responsibilities overshadows your cheerful attitude, this article is for you. 

When we get together with friends and family, we are usually greeted with, “Hi! How are you?” The most common response is, “I’m fine, thanks.” Sadly, we’re usually worse than fine and are not being honest with ourselves or the person who asked the question when we answer with that programmed phrase. Maybe it’s because we don’t have the energy to articulate what we want to say about what’s happening in our busy lives. 

Many Midlife Mamas are under enormous pressure to show up for their families and struggle to find time to care for themselves, nonetheless carrying on a meaningful conversation. Whether financially or emotionally, supporting grown children and aging parents takes a toll on their well-being and makes it difficult to be above the “I’m fine” line. It’s definitely draining to be pulled in so many directions during this phase of life.

Researchers refer to us in the multigenerational caregiving years as the Sandwich Generation. Physical exhaustion and mental fatigue mark the symptoms of a stressed-out woman who desperately needs to address the feelings of burnout before her dimming light eventually burns out.

Fortunately, scripture and science give us solutions to keep our optimism high, our metabolism lit, and our hope for brighter days on the front burner. 

The fluctuating hormones during pre and post-menopause are no fun! But, finding ways to DESTRESS our system is an essential step toward a fulfilling future that improves our daily lives and impacts others in the process.

Here are a few suggestions to say goodbye to fine and brighten your shine.

1.  Acknowledging your present state is crucial to positive change. It’s okay not to be okay - as long as you don’t stay in that stuck that stinkin’ thinkin’, a phrase my Dad uses to describe a defeated and depressed attitude. 

Accepting challenges as opportunities for growth instead of obstacles we can’t overcome requires a mental shift. Therapists talk about a fixed versus growth mindset and how our perception of ourselves alters our thoughts and behaviors. In fact, studies show that a growth mindset results in more remarkable persistence when facing challenges and difficulties. 

Therefore, our core beliefs influence our goals and results. What do you think about that? I think it’s time to embrace our identity as fit and fabulous women with God-given talents that can developed through practice and patience, including emotional and physical wellness. 

2.  Surrendering control over the things we can’t control is the essence of Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can; 

and wisdom to know the difference.

This spiritual practice is also supported by science, as evidenced in studies showing the effectiveness of combining cognitive behavioral therapy and religious beliefs to develop resiliency and create meaning in our lives.    

Even better, giving Jesus the wheel (thanks for crooning the lyrics, Carrie Underwood) gives us security and a peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6-7).  We have the assurance of God’s sovereignty and promise that He’s working all things for our good. Now, that is the kind of surrender I can get on board with, especially when it feels like I’m jumping off a diving board into unknown waters of family dynamics or daunting workouts. 

3.  Stepping out in faith and action to do the hard things - the uncomfortable stuff. This is an extra tough one for introverted individuals who prefer staying within their realm of knowledge and safe refuge. Walking on water is left for the brave adrenaline junkies, not the cautious couch sitters. 

Yet, we are ALL called to be courageous in our endeavors and steadfast in our faith. Bold women in scripture show us that trusting God to lead and provide is an act of obedience. Consider the story of Abigail in 1 Samuel 25, which is my favorite example of a woman whose humility, intelligence, and reliance on God’s wisdom alter her future, her family, and her people. 

Going to a gym, signing up for an online course, limiting sugar, leading a prayer group, hiring a personal trainer, or engaging in a difficult conversation can be scary and intimidating. That’s when you must muster up the courage and ask for supernatural strength to STEP UP and OUT of your comfort zone. You’ve got this!

In summary, make the decision to let your light shine ☀️ by Acknowledging your present condition, Surrendering to God’s trustworthy guidance, and Stepping Out with bravery into a new world of possibilities and exciting growth.

Ladies, let’s be sparkly lights of impact that don’t settle for fine. Spread your brightness and beauty in a world of darkness and division so that others will ask, “How do you do it?” instead of, “How are you?”

 Have you grabbed your FREE Rise & Shine Guide to get you moving and motivated in the morning? Go get it HERE!